On Which I Rant About Ice Age 3D: Dawn of the Dinosaurs

I know that I should just suspend my disbelief and accept the reality of a world where ice age animals can talk like humans, but there’s only so much that I can handle before I start pulling out my hair.

This edition of Ice Age puts the  main characters in the predicament of finding a friend who has been taken hostage by a T-Rex. But wait, how can there be dinosaurs in the Ice Age? Well, the writers have borrowed rather liberally from Jules Verne’s “Journey to the Center of the Earth”, in which the protagonists suddenly, and in this case inexplicably, find themselves in an inner inhabitable core of the Earth.

Of course, there is no explanation offered as to how this hollow Earth could exist below the arctic exterior, and nobody even questions this premise in the slightest. They don’t seem to care why this subterranean world is tropical, or where the heat source or light source originates, or why there are dinosaurs running around. In fact, our protagonists seem to act as if it were perfectly normal to find themselves surrounded by dinosaurs, to the point that they refer to the dinosaurs as “dinosaurs”, despite the fact that even anthropomorphized ice age beasts would have no reference point to use that term. Queen Latifah mammoth comments in the most relaxed passive tone possible that “we’ve been living above an ENTIRE world, and we didn’t even know it”. WHAT??? That’s the extent of  her reaction? She’s not in complete and total dumbfounded shock and amazement?

Why should I care? Maybe I should be thankful to the producers of Ice Age 3D for generating discussion. I wish there was some way of communicating to a four year old girl that the creators of Ice Age are lazy storytellers who thought it would be cute to do a fish-out-of-water scenario, where the fish are boring mammoths, the water is a world of ice and snow, and the “out of” is an underground realm where the universal laws of physics are overturned.

This is how bad it is! They stole specific scenes from last year’s 3D flop, Journey to the Center of the Earth; it says a lot when a film is derivative of a film that was already derivative in the first place.

Why do the mammoths talk, but the dinosaurs don’t talk? Why do the mammoths name their baby “Peaches” when there are clearly no peaches in their icy wasteland? Why do they keep  making inappropriate dick jokes? Why did I go see this movie? Why are my kids enjoying it???

On the other hand, the animation team worked hard and TRIED to respect science in the elaborate process of making this film. I know this because Steve Mersky of Scientific American did a three part interview with Blue Sky Studios about producing the film.

Here’s the extended trailer for those of you who are still interested…

One Response to On Which I Rant About Ice Age 3D: Dawn of the Dinosaurs

  1. jessica says:

    I disliked the Scratte character. What horrible female stereotypes. She was either manipulative or a ball-buster. Ugh.

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