Please Don’t Drown

June 22, 2011

That was the glib farewell I gave to the kids as I dropped them off for a swim. Of course it was a swimming pool with lifeguards, and not the lake that was a short walk away. Read the rest of this entry »


Top 3 Over-Rated Summer Activities!

May 24, 2009

I’ve been looking forward to summer since the frost first formed last fall, but I’m always disappointed once the season arrives. It starts with the allergies, then the thick humidity, then the pollution, and it progresses on to sunburns, bug bites, and scraped up knees and elbows.

The advent of global warming makes every heat wave seem suspicious and every rain storm a sign of apocalypse. I start noticing every dirty tailpipe and every billowing smoke stack.

Rather than rant further about global catastrophe, I’ll just list some common summer activities that are irritating and over-rated. It’s a pretty bad sign when even the quaintest of summer “fun” are starting to annoy me, but indulge me for this one post and I promise to say nice things about the hottest season sometime real soon.

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1.Carnivals – They know just how to suck you in with the rickety ferris wheel and colorful lights, but there’s not much fun to be had once you enter. These nomadic hucksters come to boring little suburbs and hope that the greasy fried food and unwinnable games will distract the citizens from the fact that they just paid $3 to go down the “super slide”.

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2.Bubbles – You can’t go wrong with bubbles, right? They bring instant delight to children everywhere, don’t they? Well, sure they do… for the first five minutes. Then, they want to try it themselves, even though they are too young to understand that bubbles are made by blowing on the wand, not eating it like a spoon of peanut butter. And, of course, if you have siblings, they end up fighting over who gets to play with the bubble wand first. And finally, once the little girls get their cute little hands on the bottle, they inevitably spill the contents all over the sidewalk, making you realize how much you paid for soapy water.

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3.Inflatable pools – You spend 30 minutes inflating your pool that’s been stored all winter covered in dust and cobwebs, only to realize that it has a hole which is leaking air. Your kids are standing there in their swimsuits ready to play. You run out to the store and buy another pool, spend 30 minutes inflating it, spend 30 more minutes filling it with ice cold water from the garden hose, spend 30 more minutes adding boiling water and hoping the sun will warm it up, until your kids finally get in and realize that baby pools are like taking ice cold baths – not fun.

Feel free to add your own rants in the comments section, or you can chastise me for being a summer scroodge.